Whether you’re a single mother by choice or accident, you’re the only one to give that unconditional love and care to your little one. Like all mothers on the planet, you want to be a successful mom. But single parenting is easier said than done.
You’ve to raise your child without an equally supporting partner. You’ve a job to handle, home chores to finish, and many more things to do, forming your daily to-do list. And you want to balance your work and personal life so that you can give the necessary love, care, and support to your child.
But how do you do that single-handedly? Well, it’s possible. It’s possible to be a successful, fulfilled, and happy person as a single mother by choice.
Here, we’re going to explain how to be a successful single mother by choice.
Embrace Life and Not Societal Rules
Single mothers often think that they can only give their children a good life by following societal norms. This includes a typical house with a fence or other cliche things that are nothing but general standards set by the people. If you think the same, then it’s a totally wrong approach.
You should start off by giving your children all the things that matter, like joy, happiness, and love. In fact, the most crucial of all is connectivity, which children crave for. They don’t want isolation, rather, they want support and understanding from their mother.
To be honest, they might, at times, feel the absence of their father. But your role is to make them feel happy whenever they face such emotions. When it’s about your kids, you should listen to them and not what others say.
Never Get Manipulated
Manipulation has ruined many children’s lives, whether they live with a single mother by choice or not. In fact, it’s seen that when you are raising your children, a lot of people can step up to manipulate them. So, you must identify manipulation and back off instantly.
Guilt and accusations of inadequacy are some of the common tactics through which people can manipulate you while you are single parenting. Some may even play on your heartstrings and make you do things that you wouldn’t do otherwise. So, recognize these signs and act accordingly.
Regardless of how close you are to the person, don’t tolerate someone’s manipulation of your kid or your life (in general).
They could also manipulate you for not having a second baby, even if you want to. In fact, if you are 30+, you may hear all the myths about getting pregnant in your 30s. So, you must avoid others and do what you think is the best for you. If you want to try for a second baby but you are single, get in touch with the best egg and sperm donation banks.
Your kids must understand that you work hard to earn money. It shouldn’t be wasted or misused by any means. So, whenever you get time, make them understand the value of money.
Emphasize on how money management isn’t a role of a single person but the entire family. Note that, despite the amount you earn during single parenting, financial independence isn’t a piece of cake. Rather, it’s your dedication to your work.
The money can’t be thrown just like that. It should be respected and understood as an asset that can take you far in life. During your free time, you can teach your child about money savings and related things. It’s also good to teach them about the right and wrong purchases.
Learn to Say No When Needed
When you think about your child and the fact that they don’t have a father, you may want to give them everything they want. It’s also not very uncommon to get overwhelmed with emotions when you are fulfilling their wishes/desires in single parenting. But you must remember that not everything they say should be agreed upon.
You must understand why they need the things they have requested for and act accordingly. If you think that it’s unnecessary for them, don’t hesitate to say no. Many times, parents think that saying no to their kids is torture. But trust us, it’s important to say no sometimes for their better upbringing. Rather, saying yes to everything can backfire, so be aware.
There is a fine line between your space and your child’s space, and you both must know it. Period. Children often forget that their mother can have a private life too. That’s why they get carried away and start doing things that they shouldn’t do.
For example, they could enter your room without knocking or start barging when you are busy with an important call. So, try your best to teach the minimum etiquette to your child when single parenting. You should also give privacy and personal space to your children as they grow older.
If you are dealing with certain conditions, like metabolic disease or PCOS/PCOS, it’s common to face mood swings and ill health. If you aren’t able to give your kids time for those reasons, familiarise them with your condition and ask them for a personal space/privacy for the time being.
Keep Those Gadgets Away When it’s “Children Time.”
You must have seen many pictures on social media where a single parent is busy on the phone while their child is sad and lonely. Well, that’s a harsh truth. We understand how it may sometimes be tiring to raise a kid/child on your own, and you might be doing everything possible, but it’s important to dedicate a time frame for your kid and plan things accordingly.
For example, when it’s your personal time, use your gadgets as much as you want. But, when it’s children’s time, keep everything aside and listen to the things they say. You should talk, watch a movie, play, or spend some quality time with them.
No matter what happens, never feel guilty about being a single mother by choice. There are many instances where you may feel that there isn’t money or you aren’t giving enough time to your kids. If you start finding the things to be guilty about, the list could be endless.
So, you should ditch that emotion and cherish the moments you get. For example, the time that you are getting with the kid and the little money that brings joy to your child’s face. These things are enough to keep you going in life.
At the end of the day, your child must get the love and basic necessities that they need. It’s more important than any luxury one might ask for. Your child should feel happy, secure, and peaceful with you. That’s what really matters in your life, isn’t it?
Enjoy your motherhood.